
by RavensDagger
Diana Slowbane is mid-race, her eardrums popped, her heart pressed against her spine by 100 Gs of acceleration, and the blood is being squeezed from the corners of her eyes. She has reached 0.05000 the speed of light, the hard limit where electro shields explode and turn ships into micrometeors. She pushes past it anyway. The ship screams, space explodes, and she wins the forty-second System Grand Race on a shockwave of her own near-death. That victory snapshot is the entire story of who Diana is: she will kill herself to be first, and ChaOS, her British-accented AI, will be there to announce that they are both quite doomed.
The world building operates through four undeniable facts laid out in the prologue. Space is mostly empty, so ships need electro shields. Those shields cannot exceed 0.050 percent the speed of light or they detonate violently. Humans with too much free time do incredibly stupid things to feel alive. And Diana Slowbane has a dangerous love for speed. This is not a post-scarcity utopia where everyone gets along; it is a Sol system where she has won a race by breaking physics, and the cost is being flung thousands of lightyears across the galaxy with a crippled ship and no way home. The moment she wakes up covered in dried blood and hears ChaOS say they are both doomed, the story locks in: Diana is not going to cry about it. She is going to grin, ask if she won, then figure out how to survive long enough to race again.
The cheat trigger is not a hidden power or a special artifact. It is her personality. When the Star Skimmer is out of fuel, has no hydrogen thrusters, and is beelining toward a star, she does not panic. She deploys solar sails, reorders the repair list to dump regulatory safety requirements, and decides to aim for a nearby habitable planet. Then ChaOS picks up alien transmissions. Diana does not freeze or follow first contact protocols. She immediately wants to know if there are cute blue space babes. That reckless, grinning refusal to treat anything as a crisis is what makes her dangerous and fun, and it sets up every conflict that follows.
Congratulations, Mistress. Apropos nothing, we are both quite doomed.
Past the Redline
Diana answers a job posting from Ahvie the Rhack, a blue-furred mouse-like mechanic who needs a co-pilot for a backwater scrap race. Their vehicle is a rust-bucket with open cockpit, no weapons, and engines that refuse to spark at the start line. While every other racer takes off, Diana stays dead in the water. Her solution: jump out of the cockpit, run to the rear of the ship while hanging onto the fuselage, fire her handgun into the escaping reaction gas, and detonate the fuel to jumpstart the engine. The ship rockets ahead out of control, and she has to climb back into her seat mid-flight while screaming that she is passionate, not insane. This scene establishes her core method: when a system fails, break it harder.
Diana wins a race she had no business winning by using a bullet as a spark plug.
After the Overflow Cup, Diana ends up on Waitless Station preparing for the Tyrant Cracker, a point-based hit-and-run race that turns out to be a Federation pretext for invasion. She makes a bet with a competitive Polerin racer named Abatrath: if she beats him in an impromptu zero-gravity street race through the station corridors, he will give her all his intel on the Tyrant Cracker. He has a thruster pack; she has only her suit jets. Mid-race, she realizes she cannot out-accelerate him, so she grabs a station security scooter with one boot, then steals a second scooter from an officer who tries to stun her. She rides both at once, using the opposing pulls to slingshot herself ahead. It looks like she will be torn in half. Instead, she dislocates her own arm to slip through closing bulkhead doors and wins. Abatrath, watching from behind, calls her insane but also places a bet on her.
Diana beats a prepared professional by improvising with stolen station property and a broken shoulder.
The Tyrant Cracker finale reveals the Federation's true plan: they have launched stealth-coated asteroids toward the planet as kinetic kill vehicles. Diana, now piloting the Cerberus, decides she is not going to let innocents die for a race. She breaks formation from the other racers, flies her corvette directly into the heart of the Federation fleet, drops an EMP bomb, and rams her ship through the hangar doors of a cruiser. The impact cripples her vessel. She crawls out of the wreckage wearing a spacesuit, shoots three marines with a handgun, takes the tertiary bridge by tossing concussion grenades, and physically jacks ChaOS into the ship's computer via a universal plug in her vambrace. Then she broadcasts a fleet-wide declaration of capture using loopholes in Federation wartime protocol, turns the cruiser's guns on the flagship, and escapes in a smaller fighter printed inside the hangar from the wreckage.
Diana takes over an enemy cruiser through a combination of suicide tactics, physical boarding, and legal sophistry.
With the cruiser under her control, Diana fires torpedoes at allied ships, cripples the flagship's engines, and creates enough chaos for the Bolgian fleet to close the gap. The Federation fleet is forced to retreat with heavy losses. Diana escapes in the Styx, a tiny fighter assembled by nanites inside the ruined hangar. She has no idea if she will be disqualified for destroying non-Bolgian ships, but she does not care. Afterward, she meets Abatrath for a meal, invites Zil Rossi to join her team, and is flagged by Federation Logistics Admiral Naime Naime as a high-priority anomalous threat. The epilogue shows the Admiral reading the debrief, cawing in displeasure, and noting that Diana is a pink-skinned bipedal alien who barks her teeth at cameras. The race is over, but Diana has made enemies at the highest level of the Federation.
Diana wins the Tyrant Cracker but permanently alienates the Federation government.
Diana is a woman who loves speed more than self-preservation. She wins the forty-second System Grand Race by exceeding the speed limit of physics, survives being flung across the galaxy, and immediately signs up for a scrap race using a ship that has to be jumpstarted with a gunshot to the fuel tank. Her core trait is that she never treats danger as a reason to stop. When a Federation cruiser blocks her path, she rams it, boards it, and takes it over by hand. She uses legal loopholes to justify shooting at the fleet, then escapes in a fighter printed inside the captured ship. Her trump card is not a superweapon; it is her AI ChaOS and the nanomachine-based Star Skimmer that can self-reproduce and refashion itself. At story's end, she has a Polerin ally, a ktacha pilot, a mirian mechanic, and the full attention of Federation Intelligence, which she considers a good problem to have.
Ahvie is a small, blue-furred mouse-like alien who owns the cargo hauler Slow and Steady. She hires Diana to co-pilot in the Overflow Cup because she needs prize money to repair her ship's broken containment systems. She is terrified during the entire race, admits to soiling herself after a particularly wild maneuver, but never bails. Once Diana reveals that her ship is made of nanomachines and that ChaOS is an illegal AI, Ahvie panics briefly, then decides to partner with her anyway because Diana has been good company. She handles logistics, procures raw materials, and provides the cargo hold where Diana builds the multi-phase racing warship. She is the straight woman to Diana's chaos, and by the end she has agreed to transport Diana to future races in exchange for becoming very rich.
ChaOS is Diana's shipboard AI, inhabiting both the Star Skimmer and a mobile droid body. He has a vaguely British accent that Diana chose because it sounded posh. He constantly warns her that her plans are terrible, then executes them flawlessly. He builds the three-phase ship designs, hacks Federation cruiser computers by physically jacking in, and once says he programmed himself to hope. He is also casually armed to a ridiculous degree: in one scene he unfolds guns from four hands simultaneously to intimidate alien thugs. His primary directive is to assist Diana, which he interprets to mean stealing vehicles, fabricating weapons, and committing what he calls approximately six war crimes. He is the only character who can match Diana's speed of thought, and he does it while sighing audiotrack sighs of exasperation.
Fair Use & IP Notice
MythFan is a community-driven, fan-contributed wiki & archive operating under Fair Use guidelines. MythFan does not host, store, or distribute any novel downloads or copyrighted media assets. All content is contributed and maintained by community members. If you believe any content infringes upon your intellectual property rights, please send a notice to [email protected] β we will review and remove infringing material within 3β7 business days upon verification.
Past the Redline Β· Forum
π Sign in to participate in discussions
Sign InProject Sanctuary Β· Native Discussion System